sources, n' 🩳 shorts of confidence
As for sources of confidence, I hope this is a simpler matter than the last.
Currently a primary source of confidence would be my fitness. Anyone who knows me, knows of my desire to wear shorts in any, and all situations as is possible (and appropriate). This partially stems from a comfort perspective, another part however comes from a desire to have the quads on display. Now, as I write this, I realise this is false. I started to train my legs in order to be able to wear shorts, and do so confidently, especially in an Australian summer - due to comfort reasons. But now I feel as though I need to train my legs, so that I can continue to wear shorts which have become such an integral part of my identity.
Moving on from shorts, this source of confidence (fitness/physicality) is flawed. On days where I don't lift, or periods of my life where it gets too busy for me to prioritise lifting - my confidence takes a sharp nosedive into the gutter. Now these are factors within my control, imagine I injured myself and I couldn't lift. This would absolutely shatter me. As such, lifting, not the most sustainable source.
Side thought - May be I don't need to be confident.
The other source of confidence - career. Being successful, making sufficient amount of money, being a "someone" in the industry. These all used to be bring me great joy and confidence in myself.
Less so these days. But it is a cookie jar into which I reach occasionally. Reasons for it being less so of a source these days: I know people with similar circumstances as min, who are doing better. As such my own achievements don't stand up to theirs. Secondly because I don't wish to base my identity on my career. Do I want to appear as more than/different to the average individual who introduces themselves as their career? Yeah. Is it because my career isn't as successful for it to base an identity around. Also yes.
There isn't a nice little conclusion to this post - at least not as of the time of writing this.
If there had to be a conclusion of some sort it would be this: find your own sources, analyse them, perhaps you'll find discover more about yourself through this. I sure know I did, and will continue to do so.
If you enjoyed this little post, give it a lil toast! 🍞